The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
