You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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