I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
