Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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