you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
