i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
