she woke up with a sticky ear
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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