she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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