Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
