I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
