How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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