This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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