I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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