so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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