elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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