i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
