thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
