I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
