Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
