Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
