Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
