Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
