Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
