i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
