Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
