are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
