I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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