You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
