Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
