lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
