watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
