hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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