i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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