So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
