When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
