And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
