btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
