No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
