spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
