it hurts more in the daytime
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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