i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
