I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
sex in a hospital.. check
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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