it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
