Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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