I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
