I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
