no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
