Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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