He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
