I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
